主题：【原创】该如何面对疾病的一点思考 -- 南方有嘉木

True empathy inspires what sociologists call instrumental aid. “There are any number of tasks to be done, and they’re as personal as your thumbprint,” Dr. Rainer said. If you really want to help a family in crisis, offer to do something specific: drive the carpool, weed the garden, bring a meal, do the laundry, go for a walk.

真正的同情心可以表现为实质的帮助。“有各种各样的事情需要人去做，而每个人都可以去做自己能做的那份（就像你的指纹一样独特）。如果你真心想帮助一个患难的家庭，那就提供一些具体的帮助，比如：让人搭个顺风车、整理家务、给人送饭、帮人洗衣，或者陪人散散步。

I tested that theory recently, when a friend’s mother went through a series of medical crises and moved to an assisted-living facility in our town. Normally, I might have been guilty of pseudo-care, asking if I could do anything but never really stepping up. Instead, I e-mailed her a list of tasks I could do, and asked if any of them would be helpful.

我最近实践了一把这个理论。我一朋友的母亲因病搬进了老年护理院。一般来说，我最多随口问一声“有没有可以效劳的”而不会真的主动做些什么。这次，我写了个email给她，把我觉得可以帮她做的实事列了个单子，让她看有没有可以帮得上忙的。

To my surprise, my friend responded by asking if I’d visit her mother on a day she couldn’t. Her mother was glad for the company, and my friend felt reassured, knowing that her mother wasn’t alone.

出乎意料的是，我朋友回信说，希望我可以某天抽时间陪陪她母亲，那天她自己有事。她母亲很高兴有人陪着她，而我的朋友知道母亲有人陪心里也份外踏实。

And I had the chance to do something truly useful for my friend, which in turn let me show her how much I cared about her. The time I spent with her mother turned out to be a gift for me.

我有机会替我朋友做了件实实在在有用的事，也让她知道我真真正正在乎她这个朋友。我陪她母亲的那段时间，在我看来成就了给我自己的一份特礼。

下午突然有时间不想干正事，抽了段替嘉木译了。最后那句话果然灵验，大家有机会也争取实践一把。