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主题:【原创】嘉木读书---Holmes -- 南方有嘉木

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家园 【原创】嘉木读书---Holmes(三)

下面这段对白是我的大爱,精彩幽默,极具张力。

"I have my eye on a suit in Baker Street," he said, "which would suit us down to the ground. You don't mind the smell of strong tobacco, I hope?" (很担心华生不乐意和他一起住呢)

" I always smoke 'ship's' myself," I answered.

"That's good enough. I generally have chemicals about, and occasionally do experiments. Would that annoy you?" (H又担心)

"By no means."

"Let me see-what are my other shortcomings? I get in the dumps at times, and don't open my mouth for days on end. You must not think I am sulky when I do that. Just let me alone, and I'll soon be right. What have you to confess now? It's just as well for two fellows to know the worst of one another before they begin to live together." (笑死,想像一下当日的H一定非常可爱。这和一毛头小子遇到心仪的女生后狂抛家底有什么不同?)

I laughed at this cross-examination (和H的confess呼应,两个刑事诉讼中的专业术语,并巧妙符合H的职业。中文版把这个翻译成追根究底,和原作那种诙谐的意味一下子差了许多,真可惜). "I keep a bull pup,"(其实华生并没有真得养小狗,华生在作弄H) I said, "and I object to rows because my nerves are shaken, and I get up at all souts of ungodly hours, and I am extremely lazy. I have another set of vices when I'm well, but those are the principal ones at present."(笑死,可以想像一贯温和的华生面对过度认真的H,也不由得产生了捉弄H的想法,然后面带微笑说出上面这番话的情景。笑死也因为我们知道极端懒惰的W后来被迫变得多么勤劳,帮H收拾案卷剪报什么的。)

"Do you include violin playing in your category of rows?" he asked, anxiously. (H在涉及W能否和他同居的每个问题上都异常严肃急切,一副到手的小鸟会飞走的样子。这句话的英文及其幽默,中文版韵味大失。其实H对W基本没有任何意见,所谓的cross-examination不过是他自己的confession,拉小提琴其实是很正常的Hobby,H也要小心地先征求W的看法,可见H多么在意,很难想像对象不是W,H还会不会把姿态放这么底----显然不会,从后来他对其他人的态度就可以看出来。)

"It depends on the player," I answered. "A well-played violin is a treat for the gods-a badly played one--" (W还没来得及说完………..)

"Oh, that's all right," he cried, with a merry laugh (H 对自己的琴艺很有信心,只要W不是一概地把拉小提琴认为是噪音,这个别人眼中的怪胎就认为自己已经没有缺点了:)然后就兴高采烈了,笑死)。然后生怕W反悔的样子,迫不及待地说,"I think we may consider the things as settled-, 又觉得太不尊重连房子都没看过的W的意见,于是说“that is, if the rooms are agreeable to you."

告别的时候,华生对第三人说,"The proper study of mankind is man" 。华生对H也非常有兴趣,但他是含蓄的人,明明对H有好感和无限的兴趣,还要打着研究人类的旗号,说这句话的时候还要rubbing my hands,心虚的表现,笑。

这真是一次完美的初见,我反反复复地读了好几遍,每次都读得情不自禁地面带微笑。仅就写作本身而言,也有很多技巧值得借鉴。作者没有直接叙写任何人的心理,可是对话和行动本身却传达出了太多的信息。我这段时间也在阅读Edith Wharton的the age of innocence,写得也是含蓄的爱情,可是作者总是唯恐读者不知道主人公在想什么,丝丝微微都写得清清楚楚,读起来反而没了味道,倒不如小说的电影版给人回味的空间更大。

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