主题：【翻译】谁人能理解俺们工程师（－） -- landlord
俩工程系的学生在学院穿行。工程师甲问：
“你从哪搞来的山地车？”
“这事说来邪性。昨俺正好好走着呢，突然一个PPMM从这车上跳到俺跟前。把这车扔地上，把衣裳也全脱了，冲俺嚷‘都交给你了’。”
甲赞赏的点点头“高，真是高。那些衣服估计咱也穿不下。”
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my
own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike
to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
wouldn't have fit."
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你还是不够饿！
对乐观者而言，杯子半满。
对悲观者而言，杯子半空。
对工程师而言，杯子比实际需求大了一倍。
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
一个牧师，一个医生和一个工程师大清早去打高尔夫。前面一帮人特慢。
工程师火啦：“这帮人咋回事，俺们等了15分钟啦。”
医生也跟着起哄：“俺也不知道，不过打的够臭的。”
牧师说：“管事儿的来了，问问他。”
“?悖?老乔啊！你说前面那边人咋地啦？tei慢了不是？”
“那帮人啊，是失明的消防队员。去年救俺们这儿大火时受伤失明。所以任何时候到这里打球都免费。”
大伙都不说话了。。。
牧师开口了：“真悲壮啊，今晚俺要特别为他们祈祷。”
医生也不甘人后：“好主意。俺回去和俺的眼科朋友们看看有嘛法子。”
工程师问：“他们晚上来打球不就皆大欢喜了么？”
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey,
here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say,
what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The
greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
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问：机械工程师和土木工程师有什么区别？
答：机械工程师造武器，土木工程师造目标。
Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
理科毕业生问：“为什么会这样？”
工科毕业生问：“怎么搞的？”
会计毕业生问：“多少钱？”
文科毕业生问：“要加薯条吗？”
注：这篇太难翻译了，大伙别砸俺
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
三个工科学生凑在一起讨论人体的设计者。
“一定是机械工程师，你看那些接合部。”
“不对，是电子工程师。神经系统有多少信号交流啊！”
“切，准是土木工程师。否则谁又能在娱乐场所搞出那么个废物处理管道？”
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
普通人认为一个东西如果没出问题，就不用修理。
工程师认为一个东西如果没出问题，证明功能加得还不够。
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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一位工程师某天正过路呢，突然被一个青蛙叫住了：“你要是吻我一下，我会变为一个美丽的公主。”
工程师弯下腰。。。把青蛙捡起来。。。揣口袋里了。
青蛙又说了：“你要是把我吻回公主的模样，我就陪你一个礼拜。”
工程师把青蛙拿出来。。。对它笑了笑。。。揣回口袋里了。
青蛙抓狂了：“您要是把我吻回公主的模样，我就陪你并且您可以为所欲为。”
工程师又把青蛙拿出来。。。对它笑了笑。。。然后再次揣回口袋里了。
青蛙无计可施了：“大哥。您搞啥子飞机啊？我都告您了我是个千娇百媚的公主，愿意配您过一礼拜，甚至让您为所欲为了。您咋还不吻我啊？”
工程师说话了：“俺是工程师啊！俺哪有时间陪女朋友啊？！一个会说话的青蛙？哇，那可太牛x了。”
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
为什么这么说？
有一次做项目，面对一个新奇方案，我和一个老外同时说：
"Why does it work?"
“这样也行？”
hua
理科生:原理是什么?
工科生:工作方式是怎样的?
会计生:值多少钱?
文科生:.....
理科生: "这啥原理?"
工科生: "咋实现的?"
商科生: "花几多钱?"
文科生: "加薯条不?"