主题：【文摘】你从没吻过你父母？老外辨别中国人的60个标志 -- 龙驹坝

你有几条？我反正不少。

外链出处

你从没吻过你父母？老外辨别中国人的60个标志 网易社区

1.你看起来好像才18岁。

　　2.你喜欢吃鸡脚。

　　3.你吃鱼时会吸鱼头和鱼鳍。

　　4.你的车子后视镜上会吊中国摆设。

　　5.你喜欢唱K。

　　6.你的房子铺的是瓷砖。

　　7.你的厨房覆盖着一层厚厚的油脂。

　　8.你的炉子上面有铝箔。

　　9.你的遥控器外面包着塑料

　　10.你从没吻过你父母

　　11.你从没抱过你父母

　　12.你小学五年级开始就戴眼镜了。

　　13.你睡醒后头发会竖起来。

　　14.你会为一些不可质疑的事情辩论。

　　15.你喜欢用折价券。

　　16.你为了最便宜的汽油费不惜开着车子到处找。

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

　　18.旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。

　　19.如果你是男人，那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。

　　20.别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

　　21.你经常说“哎(二声)呀(四声)”和“哇(四声)”。

　　22.你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服。

　　23.你喜欢拉斯维加斯，老虎机和二十一点。

　　24.你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布。

　　25.你把骨头和其他杂碎吐在桌子上，所以你必须有抹布。

　　26.你的电冰箱存着一万年前的食物。

　　27.你把洗碗机当碗橱。

　　28.你从来没用过你的洗碗机。

　　29.你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。

　　30.你在厨房吃饭。

　　31.你会在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮着嘴。

　　32.你会转笔。

　　33.你冰箱里有三口剩饭和一只鸡翼。

　　34.你把果酱瓶当水杯用。

　　35.你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。

　　36.你每次外出十五分钟都会带着你的零食：干芒果，李子或烤鱿鱼。

　　37.你会洗2-3次米。

　　38.你不用量杯。

　　39.你用筷子打鸡蛋。

　　40.你有一个有盖的茶杯。

　　41.你总是在电话簿里找电话号码，因为咨询电话费用为五角。

　　42.你喜欢中国功夫片。

　　43.你从不为了问声好而call你父母。

　　44.如果你不在家，你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗，就算半夜12点也不例外。

　　45.当你病了的时候,你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西，因为会上火！

　　46.你上班时给你中国朋友发送电子邮件，即使你们相距10尺。

　　47.你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死。

　　48.你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人。

　　49.你留着用过的可乐瓶。

　　50.你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。

　　51.你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。

　　52.你知道什么是月饼。

　　53.当厕纸降价时，你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里。

　　54.即使你饱了，当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完。

　　55.你吃过红豆冰棍。

　　56.你拜访别人时会带着水果。

　　57.你在餐后抢着付帐单。

　　58.你的主科是实用型的，工程学，机械学或法律。

　　59.你爱好吃苦瓜。

　　60.你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样。或者你已经三十岁并且结婚了，但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区。

• 符合的不多

但是看到后面

发觉不少条说的的确是对的...

一半一半?

我觉得这个英语很纯正!

You eat rice for breakfast.

Your friends and everybody else assume you know Kung Fu.

You remember or still use "the bowl" for haircuts.

Your folk's kitchen have a constant lingering aroma.

You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.

Your parent's lifelong ambition is to go to Las Vegas.

You never ever sat down on Popo's warm chair after she got up.

You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.

Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.

You never made the school football or basketball team.

You have two middle initials instead of one.

You have an inherent "fear" for bamboo feather dusters.

Your "hot" date is going to your parent's house to have "jook".

Your living room sofas have covers on them.

You laugh at Kan Tong and Chung King commercials.

You inform the ticket clerk that your 13 year old is 12 to avoid paying adult fare.

You sneak in snacks at the movie theater.

Your grandmother smell like mothballs.

You'd bring home a Caucasian friend and "popo" would be cooking something that smelled like it had died a week ago.

You were told you all look alike.

You know how to pinch someone with your toes.

You graduated from UCI or knows of someone who did.

You would drive around the block 10 times rather than pay for parking.

You have a hard time pronouncing "aluminum" and "lobster claw".

You truly believe that your neighbor could use that old sweater rather than throwing it away.

You would take that sweater if you were your neighbor.

You would stand in line for hours and hours for a free gift whether you needed it or not.

You have clothes in your closet that is coming back in style.

You've seen every Bruce Lee movie.

You still have your old slide rule.

You never order chop suey or egg foo young.

You have a relative or friend who works as a waiter or cook.

You prefer your chicken and shrimp served with heads and feet still attached.

You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

You spit bones and other food scraps on the table (that's why you need a vinyl tablecloth).

Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.

You buy on sale 100 rolls of toilet paper and store them in a closet or in a vacant room when your adult child moves out.

You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas when its 50% off.

Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.

Your stove is covered with tin foil.

You have stuff in your freezer since the beginning of time.

You have never used your dishwasher.

You use your dishwasher as a dish rack.

You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.

You keep a thermos of hot water available at all times.

You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

You eat all meals in the kitchen.

You bring oranges or other produce with you as a gift when you visit peoples homes.

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully to save and reuse wrappings and bows.

You feel like you've won the lottery if you didn't have to pay tax for an item.

You starve yourself all day before going to an all you can eat buffet.

You stop dialing 411 information when they started to charge for each call.

You only call long distance after 11 PM.

You suck on salty preserved seeds for a sore throat.

You keep a stash of Li Hing Mui at home.

Your eyes resemble dime slots when you laugh.

You know what the term "FOB" and "ABC" means.

You laugh at Martin Yan's jokes not because he's funny.

Your parents have a glass jar of preserved limes aging on top of the roof.

You own a wok.

You know what a "bow" is'and it doesn't mean to bend over.

You never eat fried foods when you're sick (it creates phlegm and hot air).

You would prefer your fish entree staring at you on the dinner table.

You never discuss your love life with your parents.

Your parents still use a clothes line.

You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.

You keep most of your money in a savings account.

You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.

You've joined a CD club at least once.

You keep used batteries.

You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.

You're always late.

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

Your dad thinks he can fix anything.

You live with your parents and over 30 years old (and they like it that way). And if you're married, you live in the apartment next to your parents, or in the same neighborhood.

　　10.你从没吻过你父母

　　19.如果你是男人，那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。

　　28.你从来没用过你的洗碗机。

　　29.你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。

　　32.你会转笔。

　　37.你会洗2-3次米。

　　50.你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。

　　52.你知道什么是月饼。

　　55.你吃过红豆冰棍。

　　58.你的主科是实用型的，工程学，机械学或法律。

全是谎言的话当然没人干了，列一些客观的东西，然后夹杂一些谎话和诬蔑而已，很多都是鬼扯，什么从来不为了问声好而call父母，从来没抱过父母，且不说真假，其隐含的判断非常明显。还有什么“你的电冰箱存着一万年前的食物。”简直搞笑

　　2.你喜欢吃鸡脚。

　　10.你从没吻过你父母

　　13.你睡醒后头发会竖起来。

　　15.你喜欢用折价券。

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

　　18.旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。

　　32.你会转笔。

　　35.你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。

　　38.你不用量杯。

　　39.你用筷子打鸡蛋。

　　42.你喜欢中国功夫片。

　　44.如果你不在家，你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗，就算半夜12点也不例外。

　　49.你留着用过的可乐瓶。

　　51.你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。

　　52.你知道什么是月饼。

　　55.你吃过红豆冰棍。

　　56.你拜访别人时会带着水果。

　　57.你在餐后抢着付帐单。

　　59.你爱好吃苦瓜。

2, 4, 5, 10, 12, 13, 14, 17, 27, 28, 32, 37, 38, 39, 45, 50, 51, 52, 55

Your parents house is always cold.

You beat eggs with chopsticks.

You never use measuring cups.

You reuse tea bags.

You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.

You never call your parents to say hi.

You always cook too much.

Your parents always ask you if you've eaten, even though it's midnight.

Your parents send money to their relatives in China.

Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you're sick.

You have a drawer full of used pens, most of which don't write anymore.

You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurant.

Your parents never go to the movies.

You notice at dances, a wall of guys standing together trying to look cool.

You iron your own shirts.

You play a musical instrument.

You don't own any real Tupperware, only used margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

You never leave any leftovers on the table in a restaurant. You have it put in boxes or finish it.

Your ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard in the refrigerator are all "Price Club-size".

You have an assortment of condiments and utensils from fast food takeouts stuffed in a drawer.

You never order for room service.

You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, or law.

Your parents are never satisfied with your grades.

You own a rice cooker.

You buy rice in 50 pound sacks.

You wash rice 2 to 3 times before you cook it.

You steam something on top of your rice while its cooking.

You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.

You like congee with thousand year old eggs.

You always carry a stash of food when you travel like preserved plums, beef jerky, or dried cuttlefish.

Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests brought to be courteous.

You know what MJ means.

You pick your teeth at the dinner table, but you cover your mouth.

You have a piano in the living room.

You live in an apartment and your parents always want you to come home.

You have a rice cooker to check in at the airport when you travel.

You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.

Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.

You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.

You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.

You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.

You cut your own hair'or had someone in your family do it.

Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth'especially in front.

You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.

You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.

You only have to shave every other day (maybe).

You tell your friends that you're starting a new mustache when you really had it for several months.

You wash and reuse ziplock bags.

You save your children's halloween candy and give it out the next year.

You either love or hate "mooncakes".

You know at least three people named Alan Wong.

Your parents constantly complain you use too much toilet paper when you go to the bathroom.

You hated that black herb medicine that your parents forced you to drink when you were sick.

Your parents have kitchen towels made of old cloth rice bags.

You never drank milk after eating cherries.

You've swallowed those tiny "BB's" with hot tea for a tummy ache.

Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.

You've asked your parent's help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.

You shop at 99 Ranch Markets.

Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friend's kids.

You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.

You've had to eat parts of animals that they don't even put in hotdogs.

You have piles of shoes and slippers blocking the entrances to your home.

You have no eyelashes!

Your idiot friends try to impress you with pathetic imitation languages, like the ever so popular "ching chong woo bok chi"'etc.

Your biology lecture on marine life (seaweed, octopii, sea cucumbers, etc.) was last night's dinner.

You have at least one family member who wears black wire or plastic framed glasses.

You have several relatives who wear glasses'thick glasses.

You like $1.75 movies

You like $1.50 movies even more!

Your parents never kissed you'your parents never kissed each other.

Your friends ask you to translate the scribbles on chopsticks (like you really know what it means!).

You call all your parents friends "auntie or uncle".

You get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don't.

Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees'you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.

Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow" into them and wear them for years to come.

Your family always cheer for the Asian athlete competing (eg. Michael Chang, Michelle Kwan, etc).

Your parents or relatives have goldfish swimming in an aquarium.

Your first generation relatives have a statue of an obese, bald-headed man surrounded by children.

Your parents collect jade jewelry.

Your friends from China think anything from the old country is considered "good stuff".

You know not to eat the oranges or tangerines arranged in a little pyramid.

You always drink tea after a meal.

Your dad owns at least one bird.

Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.

You use doilies to decorate your furniture.

Your friends automatically assume you're good at math.

You are good at math!!! (the hell with humility).

You know how to pick out the meat in watermelon seeds with your teeth.

Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

You are now planning to Email this list ASAP to another Chinese friend!

如果不是有中国人故意整出来恶心人或者有什么目的的话，就是不知道对中国人的印象还停留在什么年代的美国人写的吧？

那个……俺肯定是太无聊了……

1.你看起来好像才18岁。

如果是真的就好了……

　　2.你喜欢吃鸡脚。

一般~鸭掌比较有肉，哇哈哈~

　　3.你吃鱼时会吸鱼头和鱼鳍。

偶尔吧，想来这个作者一辈子也不知道剁椒鱼头是什么味道，突然想吃了……

　　4.你的车子后视镜上会吊中国摆设。

吊过，发现影响视线就拿掉了，美国人难道不会挂美国摆设吗？

　　5.你喜欢唱K。

好久没唱了，突然想唱了……

　　6.你的房子铺的是瓷砖。

俺家铺的是木板，在这里租别人的房子住俺有得选吗？

　　7.你的厨房覆盖着一层厚厚的油脂。

俺从不烧饭，基本上……

　　8.你的炉子上面有铝箔。

家里的炉子没有

　　9.你的遥控器外面包着塑料

不懂

　　10.你从没吻过你父母

SO WHAT？

　　11.你从没抱过你父母

抱过

　　12.你小学五年级开始就戴眼镜了。

还要早，恩

　　13.你睡醒后头发会竖起来。

不解……反正俺是长发，因为在美国俺基本不敢剪头发，唯一一次剪完足足被同事笑了俩月

　　14.你会为一些不可质疑的事情辩论。

俺也觉得老美会辩论一些俺认为不可质疑的事情啊。

　　15.你喜欢用折价券。

我只记得以前在学校的时候，经常要等前个人（印象中全是老美）站在那里慢条斯理地掏出一大把COUPON慢慢试，然后营业员歉意地看着我干笑……

　　16.你为了最便宜的汽油费不惜开着车子到处找。

哪儿近去哪儿

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

恩

　　18.旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。

免费的我也不吃

　　19.如果你是男人，那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。

跳过

　　20.别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

广东人的习惯吧，在SF就入乡随俗了

　　21.你经常说“哎(二声)呀(四声)”和“哇(四声)”。

“哎(二声)呀(四声)”是啥？

　　22.你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服。

错

　　23.你喜欢拉斯维加斯，老虎机和二十一点。

去过LAS VEGAS但没碰任何赌的东西……俺觉得俺简直要圣洁一把了

　　24.你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布。

没……

　　25.你把骨头和其他杂碎吐在桌子上，所以你必须有抹布。

俺爹娘从小就教育俺吐在纸巾或者专用的盘子里，要不收拾起来多麻烦？

　　26.你的电冰箱存着一万年前的食物。

俺扔东西扔得经常都于心不忍……于是尽量减少买那些乱七八糟东西的次数……每次清理冰箱俺都会含着热泪想起非洲兄弟姐妹们还在挨饿……

　　27.你把洗碗机当碗橱。

有专门的碗橱

　　28.你从来没用过你的洗碗机。

家里没有

　　29.你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。

对

　　30.你在厨房吃饭。

我喜欢对着我的电脑吃饭……在家的话是饭厅

　　31.你会在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮着嘴。

不准

　　32.你会转笔。

对

　　33.你冰箱里有三口剩饭和一只鸡翼。

为啥？

　　34.你把果酱瓶当水杯用。

最近还在琢磨着杯子买太多了用不过来……

　　35.你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。

出门的话我基本都自带洗发水……

　　36.你每次外出十五分钟都会带着你的零食：干芒果，李子或烤鱿鱼。

我想起了南京街头的烤鱿鱼和炸臭豆腐干……幸亏晚上吃得很饱

　　37.你会洗2-3次米。

我不亲自煮饭好多年……

　　38.你不用量杯。

有就用没有就不用

　　39.你用筷子打鸡蛋。

蒸鸡蛋的话当然要用筷子把鸡蛋拌匀了，俺不想给自己一个花钱的借口所以没买过专用的打蛋器……一年用不了十次的东西……

　　40.你有一个有盖的茶杯。

有……

　　41.你总是在电话簿里找电话号码，因为咨询电话费用为五角。

找啥电话？

　　42.你喜欢中国功夫片。

我更喜欢喜剧片

　　43.你从不为了问声好而call你父母。

经常打

　　44.如果你不在家，你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗，就算半夜12点也不例外。

会，不过不会那么晚

　　45.当你病了的时候,你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西，因为会上火！

难道不会上火吗？至少也落个不消化

　　46.你上班时给你中国朋友发送电子邮件，即使你们相距10尺。

我比较喜欢到处转悠……

　　47.你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死。

不吃自助餐也有好多年……

　　48.你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人。

不认识

　　49.你留着用过的可乐瓶。

喝完就扔

　　50.你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。

没有

　　51.你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。

没有

　　52.你知道什么是月饼。

废话

　　53.当厕纸降价时，你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里。

没有

　　54.即使你饱了，当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完。

俺正处于万年节食期

　　55.你吃过红豆冰棍。

废话

　　56.你拜访别人时会带着水果。

不一定

　　57.你在餐后抢着付帐单。

对

　　58.你的主科是实用型的，工程学，机械学或法律。

会计算不

　　59.你爱好吃苦瓜。

据说清火，但不爱吃

　　60.你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样。或者你已经三十岁并且结婚了，但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区。

做米虫那就是我终身的愿望，但现实是残酷的……

1.你看起来好像才18岁。

我也想啊...

　　2.你喜欢吃鸡脚。

这个倒是不吃,没有什么原因.但是吃大肠,肝,腰花,狗肉...

　　3.你吃鱼时会吸鱼头和鱼鳍。

太麻烦,不干

　　4.你的车子后视镜上会吊中国摆设。

太麻烦,不干

　　5.你喜欢唱K。

不喜欢,洗澡时除外

　　6.你的房子铺的是瓷砖。

地毯

　　7.你的厨房覆盖着一层厚厚的油脂。

不怎么做饭

　　8.你的炉子上面有铝箔。

太麻烦

　　9.你的遥控器外面包着塑料

更麻烦

　　10.你从没吻过你父母

....没有...

　　11.你从没抱过你父母

你才没抱过呢

　　12.你小学五年级开始就戴眼镜了。

初三

　　13.你睡醒后头发会竖起来。

我差不多是个秃头

　　14.你会为一些不可质疑的事情辩论。

你有病?

　　15.你喜欢用折价券。

太麻烦

　　16.你为了最便宜的汽油费不惜开着车子到处找。

太麻烦

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

曾经,自从有了孩子就不了...不敢吵她休息

　　18.旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。

免费的也不吃

　　19.如果你是男人，那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。

............

　　20.别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

偶尔

　　21.你经常说“哎(二声)呀(四声)”和“哇(四声)”。

前面一个NEVER,后面一个是自有了孩子后

　　22.你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服。

不

　　23.你喜欢拉斯维加斯，老虎机和二十一点。

从不赌博

　　24.你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布。

没有

　　25.你把骨头和其他杂碎吐在桌子上，所以你必须有抹布。

从不

　　26.你的电冰箱存着一万年前的食物。

一万年前俺还没出生

　　27.你把洗碗机当碗橱。

不

　　28.你从来没用过你的洗碗机。

这倒是,实在是太麻烦

　　29.你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。

自从有了孩子

　　30.你在厨房吃饭。

不

　　31.你会在餐桌上剔牙，但手遮着嘴。

不

　　32.你会转笔。

会一点儿

　　33.你冰箱里有三口剩饭和一只鸡翼。

从不剩饭,都吃掉或者倒掉

　　34.你把果酱瓶当水杯用。

美国就TMD杯子便宜

　　35.你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。

没有头发,要那玩意干嘛

　　36.你每次外出十五分钟都会带着你的零食：干芒果，李子或烤鱿鱼。

有孩子,没办法

　　37.你会洗2-3次米。

对

　　38.你不用量杯。

老子的手就是量杯

　　39.你用筷子打鸡蛋。

为什么?

　　40.你有一个有盖的茶杯。

有

　　41.你总是在电话簿里找电话号码，因为咨询电话费用为五角。

干嘛要找号码?

　　42.你喜欢中国功夫片。

一般

　　43.你从不为了问声好而call你父母。

CALL父母绝对不是只为问一声好的

　　44.如果你不在家，你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗，就算半夜12点也不例外。

你父母才这样

　　45.当你病了的时候,你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西，因为会上火！

已经不是孩子了

　　46.你上班时给你中国朋友发送电子邮件，即使你们相距10尺。

??????

　　47.你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死。

不

　　48.你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人。

不

　　49.你留着用过的可乐瓶。

不

　　50.你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。

有,但是很少用

　　51.你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。

你试一个我看看

　　52.你知道什么是月饼。

废话

　　53.当厕纸降价时，你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里。

也许?

　　54.即使你饱了，当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完。

看心情

　　55.你吃过红豆冰棍。

当然

　　56.你拜访别人时会带着水果。

偶尔

　　57.你在餐后抢着付帐单。

偶尔

　　58.你的主科是实用型的，工程学，机械学或法律。

不行吗?

　　59.你爱好吃苦瓜。

偶尔

　　60.你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样。或者你已经三十岁并且结婚了，但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区。

希望,不过没做到

　　17.你晚上洗澡。

曾经,自从有了孩子就不了...不敢吵她休息

没办法

小孩子很容易被吵到...