主题：【文摘】切尼打猎把律师当鹌鹑射中后，美国媒体的搞笑节目 -- 副将
1.美国哥伦比亚广播公司、戴维•莱特曼主持的《晚间话题》节目：
“女士们，先生们，好消息，我们终于找到大规模杀伤性武器的下落：它就是迪克•切尼。”
“但这里有点令人悲哀这次狩猎之旅前，（国防部长）唐纳德•拉姆斯菲尔德，曾拒绝这个家伙（受害人哈里•惠廷顿）要求提供防弹衣的申请。”
“我们无法抓住本•拉登，但我们击中了一名７８岁的律师。”
2.美国全国广播公司、杰伊•莱诺主持的《今晚话题》节目：
“虽然加利福尼亚的天气很好，但东部地区天气糟糕。华盛顿特区下了大雪，迪克•切尼意外射中一个胖子，他以为射中的是一头北极熊。”
3.“这是上周末一件大事……迪克•切尼意外射中一名同行的猎手，一名７８岁的律师。事实上，人们发现他射中的是一名律师时，他的支持率现在有９２％。”
4.“我认为，切尼已开始失去民心。射中这个家伙后，他高喊‘还有人想说国内窃听事件非法吗？’”
花！
搁在古代就是一个给小太监们净身的。
跟过街老鼠似的
不是说翻译得不好 -- 有些东西可以翻译，有些东西根本就没法翻译... 象Jay Leno的那种话实在是无法用中文传神...
TV joke writers take shots at Cheney
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Television talk shows took aim Monday at Vice President Dick Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting
companion. Here are a few of the jokes.
"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS
# "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
# "But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."
# "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
# "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash.
So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC
# "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear."
# "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
# "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?' "
# "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central
# The show's segment titles included "Cheney's Got a Gun," "No. 2 With a Bullet" and "Dead-Eye Dick."
# "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep
since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington?
Mistaken for a bird."
# "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you'
re watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it."
"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS
# "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."
# "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's
going to be in the back.' "
# "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."
# "Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."