主题:关于《劈波蹈海》翻译进程遭到干扰的说明以及向各位河友求助 -- 万年看客
第六章:
P224:To the horror of his family, Wofford enrolled for two years at Howard University Law School in Washington, becoming the first white student there since the female suffragists of the 1910s.
误:让他的家人震惊的是,他在华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自1910年女权运动以来的第一个白人学生。
正:接下来他又不顾家里人的极度震惊,前往华盛顿州霍华德大学法学院注册学习了两年,成为该校自从二十世纪最初十年女性投票权运动以来的招收的第一名白人学生。
分析:suffragist是专有名词,不能与女权主义混淆。
P225:Then he found a job at Covington and Burling, Dean Acheson's blue-chip law firm in Washington, where he divided his time between corporate clients and the few scattered souls agitating for integration,
误:……在那里,他主要负责应对大公司客户和那些少数鼓吹整合的灵魂人物,
正:……在那里他一边应付大公司客户,一边与少数鼓吹种族融合的人们打交道,
分析:soul本身就可以指代人。
P225:King was a hero, and as he spoke, representatives of other Negro organizations were rapping on the door.
误:金成了英雄,他一边演说,其他黑人组织的代表就一边有节奏地跺着脚回应他。
正:金成了英雄,他在台上演说的时候台下其他黑人组织的代表都在一下一下地砸门以示应和。
P227:...and Levison personally had raised most of the advertising funds for a Coretta King-Harry Belafonte-Duke Ellington concert a few weeks before Rustin introduced him personally to the Kings.
误:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金和哈里.贝拉方特在杜克艾灵顿的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告费。
正:在拉斯廷亲自把利维森介绍给金夫妇之前的几个星期,利维森还亲自为柯瑞塔.金、哈里.贝拉方特以及艾灵顿公爵三人联袂出演的音乐会募集了绝大部分广告赞助。
分析:Duke Ellington是美国作曲家,钢琴家,爵士乐大师。
P227:Every morning, Davis arrived ceremoniously in his own chauffeur-driven Pierce-Arrow,
误:每天早晨,戴维斯身着盛装坐着自己的皮尔斯——阿罗汽车到达学院,
正:每天早晨戴维斯都会让自家司机开着一辆皮尔斯阿罗汽车将自己风风光光地送进学院,
分析:误译没看见chauffeur-driven
P229:All this infuriated Ben Davis, who retorted that the Gates faction always blamed the party instead of the reactionaries.
误:所有这一切激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨派从来不批判,反动派倒总是指责本党。
正:这套说辞激怒了本.戴维斯,他反驳说,盖茨一派只会指责本党,却从来不去批判反动派。
分析:这次是审校的责任。
P229:The convention itself was filled with bitterness and gallows humor, with informants circulating in conspicuous droves.
误:这次大会本身充满了苦涩和黑色幽默,告密者周旋于著名人物中间。
正:大会本身充满了苦涩与黑色幽默,联邦调查局的线人们成群结队地在会场里游荡,周围的人们无不侧目而视。
分析:根据韦氏词典, conspicuous有attracting attention之意,drove有a group of animals driven or moving in a body之意。
P230:Davis welded himself to the contortions and reversals of Soviet strategy for the remaining six years of his life,
误:在6年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己和苏联扭曲和颠倒的战略牢牢焊在一起,
正:在人生最后六年的职业生涯中,戴维斯把自己与苏联方面扭曲颠倒的战略牢牢焊在了一起,
P231:King wanted to make his case to Eisenhower personally--and to be seen doing so--but the President ducked
误:金想亲自把他的案子交给艾森豪威尔——看起来也确实这么做了,但总统躲开了
正:金希望在艾森豪威尔面前亲自阐述自己的主张——两人会面的场景还要得到公共宣传——但总统选择了回避。
分析:误译太生硬。
P232:There were three billion people in the world, he grew fond of saying--roughly a billion each in the Soviet and Western blocs, and a third billion in the emerging poorer nations such as Ghana.
误:世界上有30亿人口——他从小就喜欢这么说,苏联和西方集团大致各有10亿,第三个10亿就在加纳这样新兴的贫穷国家中。
正:按照尼克松惯用的叙事口径,全世界共有三十亿人口,苏联集团与西方集团大致各有十亿,剩下的十亿人则居住在加纳这样的新兴贫穷国家。
P232:His experiences in Ghana helped secure his belief that the Zeitgeist, or spirit of the age, was rising to the defense of oppressed peoples.
误:他在加纳的经历帮助他坚定了信念,他的时代精神被提升到为保护被压迫人民的境界。
正:加纳的经历促使他进一步坚定了信念:如今的时代精神正在为世界各地遭受压迫的人民撑腰助力。
P232:As fresh world travelers, he and Coretta returned through Rome, Geneva, Paris, and London, hearing everywhere a clatter about what would become of restive colonies on the southern portion of the globe.
误:一路上,他们到处都听到人们叽叽喳喳地唠叨,说地球南部的殖民地将成为动荡不安的地区。
正:一路上他们到处都能听到人们正在众说纷纭地讨论动荡不安的南半球殖民地面临着怎样的未来。
P233:For King, who was plainly enchanted with the notion of Nkrumah and the duchess “dancing with the lord on an equal plane”, the return trip through London had become almost a journey of temptation.
误:对金来说,显然被恩克鲁玛的见解迷住了,而公爵夫人“在一架平等的飞机上与贵族共舞”的话,更几乎使经伦敦回程成为旅途的一个诱惑。
正:对于金来说,恩克鲁玛与公爵夫人共同构成了一套令他心醉的意象——“在平等的地面上与贵族共舞”——而途径伦敦的返程之旅更是充满了诱惑。
分析:将plane直接翻译成飞机还真是朴实刚健的很。
P234:Wilkins worked the inside game in Washington, where he alone had a staff.
误:威尔金斯独自一人在华盛顿周旋运作。
正:威尔金斯则在华盛顿周旋运作,因为只有他在华盛顿拥有属于自己的办事班子。
P236:Rustin already knew that, but he puzzled over King's ability to move widely divergent audiences with material that seemed suited to a college student's notebook.
误:……金演讲用到的素材似乎只适合于抄录在大学生的笔记本上,但他能借此激励截然不同的广大听众。
正:……哪怕采用看上去摘抄自大学生笔记本的枯燥素材,金依然能轻而易举地打动身份背景差异悬殊的各种听众。
P238:Rustin's logic, to which King acceded, was that King could not discuss the meeting without sounding partisan or risking contradiction from the Administration.
误:为金所认同的拉斯廷的逻辑是,他不能讨论这个无党派之争或者不与政府相悖的会谈。
正:按照拉斯廷的逻辑,金只要谈到会谈内容就难免会卷入党派之争或者与政府方面的宣传相冲突,因此还是尽量打马虎眼为妙。金也认同他的看法。
P241:This diplomatic mimicry was small consolation to Wilkins
误:这种模仿外交的方式对威尔金斯是一个小小的安慰,
正:尽管金的手腕如此圆熟,但却并不能给威尔金斯带来多少安慰。
P243:In a wild radio speech, he accused white soldiers from the "occupation forces' of following the female Negro students into the girls' bathrooms at Central High.
误:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵,说他们居然允许黑人女学生进入中央高中的女浴室。
正:在一次不着边际的广播讲话中,他指责“占领军”中的白人士兵居然允许黑人女学生使用中央高中的女厕所。
P244:As King struggled against the tide, competition from the NAACP was hardly the sole obstacle he encountered among his own allies.
误:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自NAACP的竞争几乎成为他在自己同盟军中遭遇到的唯一障碍。
正:就在金逆势奋斗的时候,来自协进会的竞争很难说是他在同盟当中遭遇到的唯一障碍。
P246:Not long after meeting "a most extraordinary young minister' in Baltimore, Levison had stunned his wife by telling her that Martin King was his only true friend in the world
误:巴尔的摩会议是“一个最不寻常的年轻部长”会议,此后不久,利维森就对妻子说,金是他在世界上唯一真正的朋友,这番话惊呆了他的妻子。
正:在巴尔的摩初次遇到这位“最非凡的青年教士”之后不久,利维森就向愕然无语的妻子宣布马丁.金是他在世界上结交的唯一一位真朋友。
P248:There would be mass meetings, evangelical appeals to the unregistered, then registration classes and support committees for those making the attempt.
误:福音会的群众集会吸引了那些未登记的黑人,接着,人们开始注册类别,并支持委员会所做的那些尝试。
正:计划的内容包括在弥撒大会上言辞恳切地说服尚未登记的黑人采取行动,并且向打算登记的黑人提供登记手续介绍课程,还要成立委员会来支持他们的举动。
P249:While he rejected the notion of justifying future segregation on the basis of its past pernicious effects upon Negroes, he called upon Negroes to improve their conduct.
误:一些观念基于过去施加给黑人的恶性影响,为今后的种族隔离进行了辩护,金对这些观点加以否定的同时,他呼吁黑人提高自己的操行。
正:他一方面基于种族隔离在过去对黑人造成的恶劣影响来反对未来的种族隔离,同时又呼吁黑人要有意识地改进自己的行为表现以免授人以柄。
P253:King's secretary reported that Baker was "a little abrupt' after being told that he was not available to take one of her calls.
误:金对秘书说,他没有接到过任何一个来自贝克的电话,秘书汇报说,贝克“有点莽撞”
正:金的秘书报告称,每当贝克得知金不方便接听电话的时候态度总会变得有点“唐突”。
P255:He struck a positive tone, painting vivid pictures of the beneficial effects the President could set in motion with gestures such as speeches, White House conferences, and simple statements on the moral imperatives of racial integration.
误:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调,把这种力量的作用描绘得生动形象——总统可以在诸如演讲、白宫会议,以及关于种族融合道德要求的简单陈述中,将这种力量辅以手势加以运用就能获得有益的效果
正:他以令人印象深刻的积极语调为总统描绘了一幅生动的画面:总统只需做些姿态就能为民权事业带来极大的裨益,例如公开演讲、白宫会议以及关于种族融合的道义必要性的简单陈述。
P256:...more divisive leaders would emerge if the current ones could not soon point to greater progress.
误:如果这些领袖眼下不能尽快指明取得更大进步的方向,那就会有更多人分裂出去。
正:如果目前的黑人领袖们不能尽快指明取得更大进展的方向,就必然会出现更擅长制造分裂的黑人领袖。
P256:Except for Eisenhower's endorsement of the need for stronger voting rights legislation, nothing was concluded beyond a general agreement that the meeting had been constructive.
误:除了需要艾森豪威尔为投票权立法给予更强有力的支持外,大家一致同意本次会议具有建设性
正:参会人员一致同意本次会议具有建设性,但是本次会面的唯一实际成果就是艾森豪威尔承诺要向投票权立法给予更强有力的支持。
P258:Late on the afternoon of Friday, August 29, 1958,
误:上个星期五,也就是1958年8月29日的晚上,
正:1958年8月29日星期五下午晚些时候,
P260:Inside, a white judge tried to preserve order and a white prosecutor prepared to outline a case brimming with salacious facts, while the audience waited eagerly to hear what the Negro antagonists would say about each other under oath,
误:而观众们则热切地等着听双方黑人律师宣誓说实话之后怎么相互抗辩。
正:听众们热切地期待着控辩双方的黑人当事人宣誓证言属实之后对于彼此有什么说法。
分析:律师用不着宣誓。
P260:King and Coretta, arriving just behind the Abernathys at the courtroom, found that policemen would admit only Abernathy, who waved a subpoena commanding him to appear.
误:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿伯纳斯夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现,警察晃着张传票命令阿伯纳斯站出来——他们只允许他一个人入场。
正:金和柯瑞塔紧随阿博纳西夫妇之后到达法庭,但他们发现警察只允许阿博纳西一个人入场,因为他手里挥舞着一张传票。
P262:Locked out instead of in, King soon found himself standing outside city hall alone--blocked from entering the same forbidding place outside town that had so terrified him after his first arrest, and frightened him still.
误:在第一次被逮捕并关进城外监狱时,他曾经非常惊恐,然而,当他被同一个地方拒之门外时,他依然感到害怕。
正:这一回金被锁在了牢门的另一边,很快他就孤零零地站在了市政厅门外。上次遭到逮捕并关进城外的监狱时他曾经一度吓得魂不附体,至今想起来依旧心有余悸。
P264:King was set up behind a desk in the back of the shoe department. To this rather humble setting flocked a number of New York's civic leaders, mostly Negroes and Jews,
误:在鞋品部后面放置了一张桌子,金就坐在桌子后面。络绎不绝的纽约公民——主要是黑人和犹太人,涌向这个谦恭的位置。
正:商场在鞋品部的放置了一张桌子以供金签字。纽约市的民权活动领袖们络绎不绝地涌向了这个略显简陋的场所。
分析:韦氏词典指出humble有 not costly or luxurious之意
P265:Nettie Carter Jackson, Grand Daughter Ruler of the Elks and one of the sponsors of the promotion……
误:埃尔克斯家族的大女儿统治者内蒂·卡特·杰克逊是促销活动的赞助商之一,
正:角鹿社的长女主君内蒂.卡特.杰克逊(Nettie Carter Jackson)是本次签售活动的赞助人之一
分析:维基百科指出Elks的全称是Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks,是一个总部位于纽约的会社组织。
P265:Its hilt protruded from King's chest at a point a few inches below and to the left of the knot in his tie.
误:金的领结左下方几英寸的胸口处露着刀柄,
正:刀刃插进了金的领带打结左下方几英寸的胸口处,只有刀柄还露在外面。
分析:领结是bow tie。
P265:Curry had been raving incoherently about persecution and torture and her anger at King for having undermined her Roman Catholic faith.
误:……她对金的愤怒已经破坏了她的罗马天主教信仰。
正:……她之所以痛恨金则是因为金削弱了她的罗马天主教信仰。
分析:主语不对。
P265:A police matron had discovered a fully loaded Italian automatic inside her blouse.
误:一名警方女舍监在她的上衣里面发现了一把全套装置的意大利全自动弹簧刀。
正:一名女警还在库里的上衣口袋里面发现了一把上满膛的意大利全自动手枪。
分析:如此任性的误译我竟无言以对。
P266:She had used an instrument quite different from the kitchen knife common to urban stabbings:
误:她曾经带过一把和普通厨刀完全不同的刀具到城里行刺。
正:城市持刀伤人案件的最常见凶器就是厨房刀具,但是本案的凶器却别具一格。
P275:Even among civil rights activists, Clennon King was slipping away--a kook not worth fighting for.
误:即使身处民权活动家之中,克莱农.金还是在逃遁——一个神经病是不值得为其去战斗的。
正:即便在民权活动家的圈子里,这位克莱农.金(Clennon King)也正在变得越来越不招人待见,因为大家都觉得不值得为了一个神经病强行出头。
P276:He explained that his suggestion was a consequence of the failure by the United States and the Soviet Union to have the "faith and moral courage' to stop the arms race.
误:他解释说,美国和苏联没能用“信仰和道德勇气”停止军备竞赛,正因为美国和苏联都失败了,这才有他的这个建议。
正:在他看来,美国与苏联都没有停止军备竞赛的“信仰与道德勇气”。正因为这两个超级大国都失败了,金才打算提一点不知当不当讲的意见。
P276:King tried to calm their fears, to minimize the risk, to remind them that the true test of Gandhian nonviolence came in the severest trials of one's own life.
误:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地非暴力的真正考验走进了人们生命中最严厉的审判中。
正:金试图平息记者们的忧虑,努力降低风险,并力图提醒他们,甘地主义非暴力运动的真正考验总会来自最艰难的人生试炼。
P277:All seven were white Protestant men from small towns; six had crew cuts.
误:这7个新教白人男性全部来自小城镇,并且最后裁掉了6人,
正:所谓的“水星七人组”全都是来自小城镇的白人男性新教徒,其中六个人留着平头。
P280:Less spectacular injustices were pressing steadily on King.
误:持续强加在金身上的惊动一时的不公正事件已经不多了。
正:与此同时,远比私刑更为低调的不公正也正在向金步步紧逼。
P281:The SCLC board began searching again for a replacement with the same impossible combination of qualities
误:SCLC董事会又再次开始寻找综合条件完全相同实则绝无可能的替代者。
正:然后领导大会又再次开始寻找他的继任者。最理想的人选必须满足两条完全不可能共存于一身的品质
P288:"Walking the benches' referred to ministers who leaped from the pulpit in mid-sermon to preach ecstatically as they danced up and down the pews, literally stepping over the swooning bodies in the congregation.
误:“走长凳”是指布道讲到一半时,牧师从讲坛上一跃而下欣喜若狂地讲道,同时在长凳间上下起舞,逐个跨过会众中那些昏昏欲倒的身体。
正:“走长椅”是黑人教会的特色之一。布道期间兴奋欲狂的牧师会突然跳下布道坛,手舞足蹈叫地冲进听众席,脚踩长椅靠背凌空行走,从兴奋昏厥的会众头顶上迈过去。
P293:In San Francisco, at the annual convention of the AFL-CIO, A. Philip Randolph spoke from the floor three times in a single day, each time seeking action against official segregation within member unions. This was one time too many for AFL-CIO president George Meany.
误:在旧金山的AFL- CIO年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内在台下发言了3次,每一次都在工会成员中谋求反对官方隔离政策的行动。对AFL-CIO的主席乔治·米尼来说,一次都嫌多。
正:在旧金山的劳联-产联年度大会上,A.菲利普.伦道夫一天内三次在听众席上起身发言,每一次都呼吁工会成员采取反对种族隔离官方政策的切实行动。头两次发言的时候劳联-产联主席乔治.米尼(George Meany)一直按捺着没有表态,到了第三次他终于忍不住发作了。
P293:The demand had more to do with greed and anxiety than with military judgment, he believed, and was subverting both politics and military professionalism.
误:他相信,基于贪婪和焦虑的请求比基于军事判断的请求要走得更远,并且正在颠覆政治和军事职业水准。
正:他相信这些人之所以要求增加军费主要是因为贪婪和焦虑而不是理性的军事判断,而且他们的要求正在颠覆政治和军事两方面的职业操守。
P294:and the prodigious energies he had thrown into a thousand speeches had exposed as an illusion the hope that his larger purpose could be accomplished by political evangelism.
误:而且,他投入上千次演讲中的巨大能量也暴露了他幻想一般的希望,那就是,他更大的目标可以通过政治福音来完成。
正:在职业生涯刚刚起步的时候,他满心以为可以通过政治福音来实现更为宏大的目标,因此他才会毫不吝惜地将大量精力投入上千场演讲中,但是事实却证明他寄托在政治福音身上的希望只是水中捞月而已。
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