五千年(敝帚自珍)

主题:关于《劈波蹈海》翻译进程遭到干扰的说明以及向各位河友求助 -- 万年看客

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家园 《分水岭》第九章勘误

P380:The high quality of the food quickly seduced them out of plans for a prison fast.

误:本来,他们计划着赶快服完刑出狱,现在,这个计划在高品质的餐食的诱惑下已经不复存在

正:本来学生们还打算在入狱之后搞一场绝食,不过品质如此上乘的伙食很快就诱使他们放弃了原本的计划。

分析:fast在这里显然作名词。

P381:Confined by agreement to issues of foreign policy, the debate was an unrecognized milestone of American politics in that it featured the clandestine preoccupations that had been growing within the U.S. government since World War II.

误:受制于外交政策问题的协议,辩论成为美国政治上一个无法识别的里程碑,因为它突出了自“二战”以来生长在美网政府内部的隐秘成见。

正:辩论双方事先达成协议,本次辩论仅仅讨论外交政策问题,因此这一场辩论成为了美国政治上一块面目不清的里程碑,突出了自二战以来就在美国政府内部滋生的对于隐秘行事的热衷。

分析:preoccupation没有成见的意思。

P382:Although he worked in the Kennedy campaign, Harris Wofford responded to the surface realities like almost everyone else, and he found himself in the uncomfortable position of agreeing with Nixon.

误:虽然参与肯尼迪的竞选工作,但哈里斯·沃福德对表面现实的反应几乎和其他人一样,他发现自己很难赞同尼克松,因为那会让他不自在。

正:虽然哈里斯.沃福德是肯尼迪竞选团队的员工,但是他面对表面现实的反应几乎和其他人一样,不得不勉强赞同尼克松的观点。

P385:Daddy King outpreached Rockefeller that same day in Cleveland.

误:同一天,老金外出到克利夫兰宣讲洛克菲勒。

正:同一天金老爹来到了克利夫兰,他的宣讲劲头比起洛克菲勒更有过之。

P388:I have made requests of all the news agencies that in their stories they make it clear that this hearing did not take place in Atlanta, Georgia

误:我已经对所有的新闻机构提出了要求,要在他们的新闻中明确报道。这场听证会不会发生在亚特兰大市。

正:我已经对所有新闻机构提出了要求,要在他们的新闻中明确指出这场听证会的地点并不是亚特兰大市。

分析:注意时态。

P391:If they did not strangle the idea on sight, the aides, who liked to speculate about how contemplated moves might play in The New York Times, would object that Kennedy could not possibly do anything quiet in the King case, which was on that morning's front page.

误:即使他们当时不马上扼杀这个想法,那些喜欢猜测《纽约时报》会如何上演预期戏码的助手,也会对此不以为然——对于当天早晨头版刊登的金的新闻,他们认为平静的肯尼迪不可能做任何事情。

正:即使他们不会当场扼杀他的提议,那些喜欢猜测各种竞选手段在《纽约时报》上会遭到怎样报道的助手们也肯定会发表不以为然的见解。金的案件已经登上了当天早晨的报纸头版,他们都认为肯尼迪不可能以任何方式悄无声息地介入金的案件。

P393:What Salinger and his colleagues feared was that Wofford was just enough of a Kennedy man to apply these hard-headed tactics to a softheaded issue.

误:此刻,塞林格和他的同事担心的是,沃福德刚好借他是肯尼迪的人为由,把这些精明的策略运用到一个愚蠢的问题上。

正:此刻塞林格和他的同事担心的是,沃福德也像肯尼迪团队的其他人一样大胆,可是却把冷静算计的策略运用在了感情用事的问题上。

P400:His decision flung Wofford and Martin pell-mell into the production of a logistical miracle.

误:施赖弗的决定猛地把沃福德和马丁扔到后勤见证奇迹去了。

正:在施莱弗那里吃了定心丸之后,沃福德与马丁立刻全力以赴地搞出了一场物流奇迹。

P401:Defense lawyers had forbidden King to be in the courtroom, or even in Montgomery, fearing that his presence would serve only to inflame the jurors against the defense, but King was very much there in absentia.

误:辩护律师已经禁止金出席法庭,甚至不准他在蒙哥马利出现,他们担心金的出现只会加剧陪审员的对抗,而金也的确没有到场。

正:辩护律师禁止金出席法庭,甚至不准他在蒙哥马利出现。他们担心金的出现只会加剧陪审员对于辩方的抵触与反感。金本人确实没有出现在庭审现场,但是控辩双方的所有人都能感到他的存在。

分析:总是差一口气,原文表达不到位。

P403:but even the secret-keepers did not know all the secrets that made their logistical miracle possible.

误:但就算是保密者也不知道所有这些后勤秘密可能创造的奇迹。

正:但就算是保密者本人也不知道让这场物流奇迹成为可能的所有秘密。

P403:The Kennedy "dummy committee' was located in Philadelphia, site of the riotous church schism in September. Its co-chairman was one of the preachers J. H. Jackson had expelled from the Convention and sent off to jail three years earlier,

误:肯尼迪的“虚拟委员会”位于费城——教会9月份在那里闹得四分五裂。加德纳.泰勒派的联合主席在3年前被J.H.杰克逊在全国大会上开除并送进监狱。

正:肯尼迪的“障眼委员会”位于费城——之前9月份全国浸信会大会正是在这里闹得四分五裂。委员会的联合主席正是三年前被J.H.杰克逊驱逐出全国浸信会大会并且送进监狱的布道人之一。

分析:主语都错了。

P404:Dobbs said he could not understand how any self-respecting Negro could vote Democratic in view of the state party's refusal to allow a single Negro to become a member, "not even Mr. Walden or M. L. King.'

误:多布斯说他不能理解的是,虽然执政党拒绝让“即使是沃尔顿先生或马丁·路德·金”这样的黑人成为政府成员,但怎么能因为这个原因就把票投给民主党呢?任何自重的黑人都不该这样。

正:多布斯说他不能理解为什么任何一位自重的黑人居然打算投票支持民主党。别忘了在民主党执政的各州,任何黑人都不得成为政府成员,“即使是沃尔顿先生或马丁.路德.金这样的人都不例外。”

分析:联系前文就知道不对。

P407:This revelation appeared to clash with both the Machiavellian and the humanitarian interpretations of the Kennedy calls.It made sense only if Vandiver, shrinking from his promise to get King out of Reidsville, had talked Robert Kennedy into assuming the political risk.

误:这个揭露似乎不符合权谋政治家以及人道主义者对肯尼迪电话的解释,因为范迪弗畏缩于把金弄出里兹维尔的承诺,除非他说服了罗伯特,肯尼迪承担政治风险,那才讲得通。

正:无论是从权谋政治还是从人道主义的角度来解释他这通电话似乎都与这种说法相抵触,除非范迪瓦不敢兑现将金弄出里兹维尔的承诺,而是说服了罗伯特.肯尼迪承担政治风险。

P408:A spectacular success, the book sold more than four million copies and caused fundamental changes in campaign reporting, if not in the conception of the American presidency itself.

误:这本书销量超过400万册,引起了竞选报道的根本性改变,要不是借用美国总统的概念本身,它不可能是一个巨大的成功。

正:本书销量将会超过四百万册。如果说这本书没能改变人们对于美国总统这一概念的理解,那么至少也导致了今后总统竞选新闻报道的根本性变革。

P408:A final, rhapsodic description of the King calls slipped all bounds of fact: "Decisions now not only followed crisply and unfalteringly in sequence, but where decision pointed, the organization followed--and the various parts of the organization had all passed through their break-in period, had been road-tested, and purred in the comforting hum of human machinery intermeshing with the same complete efficiency that one remembers of the American bomber crews flying out of Tinian and Saipan.'

误:最后,关于他对致电举动做了一番热情洋溢的描述,把所有事实展露无遗:“现在,决策不仅要顺次简洁而坚决地沿袭,而且组织要跟进决策的指引,组织的各个部分都要通过自己的磨合期,都要参加道路测试,要有完全相同的啮合效率,那种机器般啮合的嗡嗡声,让人宽慰地想到美国轰炸机机组人员飞出爱宁岛和塞班岛的情形。”

正:怀特对于肯尼迪-金通电的欢快总结干脆彻底摆脱了一切事实的约束:“这套决策不仅得到了顺次简洁而又坚决彻底的贯彻,而且决策指到哪里,肯尼迪集团就打到了哪里——这个集团宛如一台由人类组成的机器,各个组成部分早已通过了磨合期,经受了实地测试,部件之间的完美啮合发出了悦耳的嗡嗡声。至于集团的办事效力则无懈可击,让人宽慰地回忆起了驶离提尼安岛与塞班岛的美国轰炸机机组。”

P409:Before, King had been a curiosity to most of the larger world--unsettling and primeval in meaning, perhaps, but as remote as the backseats of buses or the other side of town.

误:以前,金一直对大多数的大世界有一种好奇,因为在那些世界里有着令人不安而原始的意义。但也许,世界之大,在意义上其实只是从公交车最后一排到第一排的距离,又或者只是城市两端的距离。

正:对于更广大世界当中的大多数人来说,这个名字从前确实惹人好奇,或许还具有悸动且原始的意义,但却像公交车的最后一排或者城市的另一边那样遥远。

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