主题：【求助】写了一封离职告别信，高手们帮我把把关！ -- DF41
家园 【求助】写了一封离职告别信，高手们帮我把把关！ 小弟英语比较烂，请高手们给看看，哪些地方比较冗长或者语法时态的什么有问题，帮我看一下吧，谢谢！
Dear all,
As some of you may already know, I am resigning my position here on Jan.06 and this week is my last week in XXX Company. I will starting a brand new role in another company which will afford me the opportunity for better personal growth and professional development. I am leaving with a mixture of excitement and regret, because I have greatly enjoyed working with all of you. You've been not just colleagues but my friends as well.
Indeed, over 3.5 years experience in XXX company has been deeply fulfilling. It has been a pleasure to fight with a
strong team. Together we’ve provided world class service to our valued customer, accomplished the great target one
after another, sharing a rewarding learning experience and we have much to be proud of.
Special thanks to PEK Management - person name,person name,person name,person name. You gave me numerous support,
guidance and encouragement that I’ve learned how a really good professional work and project management should be run.
I sincerely hope that our friendship will not end with my departure. I can be reached at any time via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]
Please accept my best wishes in the coming Chinese New Year!
I will miss you all my brother & sisters!
新春快乐！
Yours truly,
XXX
家园 贡献下我几个月前的 Dear Friends:
What has a start has an end. Today is my last day in xxxxxx. In the past 2 years I have experienced a lot of changes in both my life and my work, such as getting married and switching my career from engineering to marketing. There were so many challenges I need to face and so many new things I need to learn, but I’m lucky to have all of you by my side, offering me your kind helps and sharing me your valuable experience. Here I want to say thanks to all of you!
Hope our paths will cross again somewhere and sometime in the future! Keep in contact!
PS: My contact
xxxxxxx
Take Care!
家园 多谢各位！再帮我看看 各位改的都挺牛的，但是有些地方还是觉得有点别扭，我又综合你们的改了下，删了点东西，再帮我看看吧！
Dear all,
As some of you may already known, I have resigned from XXX on Jan.06 and this is my last week here. I am leaving with a mixture of excitement and regret, because I have enjoyed working with all of you very much. You've not just been colleagues but dear friends as well.
Indeed, it has been a pleasure to work with a strong team in the past 3.5 years. Together we’ve provided world-class service to our customers, achieved many challenging goals, shared a rewarding learning experience and we have much to be proud of.
Special thanks to PEKRC Management(这块的衔接还有没有好的方式？)who gave me numerous support, guidance and encouragement. I’ve learned from you how a professionally managed project should look like.
I sincerely hope that our friendship will not end with my departure. In the future, I still can be reached via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]
Best wishes for the coming Chinese New Year! I will miss you all my brother & sisters!
Yours truly,
XXX
家园 应你的要求 Dear all,
As some of you may have already known, I have resigned from XXX on Jan.06 and this is my last week here. I am leaving with a mixture of excitement and regret, because I have enjoyed working with all of you very much. You've not just been colleagues but dear friends as well.
Indeed, it has been a pleasure to work with a strong team in the past 3.5 years. Together we’ve provided world-class service to our customers, achieved many challenging goals, shared a rewarding learning experience and we have much to be proud of.
Special thanks to PEKRC Management for all the support, guidance and encouragement. I’ve learned from (可以考虑用through，就是通过您，知道了。。。和从您那儿，知道了。。。的差别） you how a professionally managed project should look like.
I sincerely hope that our friendship will not end with my departure. In the future, I can still be reached via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]
Best wishes for the coming Chinese New Year! I will miss you all my brother & sisters!
Yours truly,
-----
你这个差不多了，我只改了三个地方，煮酒胸说得很清楚，其实这种信就是走场面，但是我当你是要练习你的E文吧？
离职了啊，祝你前途似锦。
家园 抱歉 del
- 复 抱歉
家园 不对。 你改的比他原来的还要糟。
As some of you may already known (knew),may后面带Present tense，所以是may already know或may already have known.
I have enjoyed working with you so much,so much是特殊句式，一般用法是XXX so much, that xxxx比如：He ran so much that he sprained his ankle.
and upon my leaving from here,Upon一般用于条件，如：He left upon receiving the news。
leave 后一般直接带noun。
it will be a mixture of excitement and regret for me.it指代什么？
will be也不对，应该用present tense
改正后是这样
As some of you may already know, I have submitted my resignation to XXX on Jan.06 and this is my last week here.I have enjoyed working with you very much, and I am leaving here with a mixture of excitement and regret. You've not only been colleagues but dear friends as well.
学语言要注意输入（听读）与输出（说写）的累积，不能光学语法。特别是英语；英语的语法本来就很混乱，没有实际中的运用，是怎么也学不好的。
家园 兄弟这个不是辞职信啊，而是告别信。而且也过长、过细了 俺没细看，但估计你是准备作为email弄群发的
无论是辞职信(resignation letter, 给supervisor or senior management的)，还是告别信(farewell letter, 给coworkers的)，都绝对绝对不宜写的这么长。前者是官面文章，自然没必要写得过长过细，而后者的受众(audience)很广，跨越各部门、不同级别/阶层、包括与你私交较深的和泛泛之交的，弄的过长了，会让所有人--无论是私交深厚的还是一面之交的，都感到别扭。
而且切切不要elaborate on your new position or career. 诸如神马 "...another company which will afford me the opportunity for better personal growth and professional development"。这个话是大忌，会让人觉得你有炫耀甚至觉得自己攀了高枝儿之意，虽然你本来完全不是这个意思。
还有些小语法瑕疵，比如 you may already known
应该是you may have already known，或者you may already know. 后者更简捷。这种东西，simplicity is the King.
其他语法瑕疵就不一一说明了。
我见过的所有老美的辞职信都很简捷，如果想加入一些个人情感因素，可以这样写：
Dear All,
It is with mixed emotions that I'm writing this email message. As some of you know, I have accepted a position at another company，and January 25 will be my last day with XXX. It was not an easy decision for me, as I truly enjoy working with all of you here at [Current Company].
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all, my friends and colleagues, for your support and friendship. It's been such a pleasure and privilege to work with each of you! I will miss you all... (俺觉得俺已经写的够酸够酸的了，如果你嫌酸的话可以适当tone down一下，但却不可比这个更酸了)
I can be reached at my personal email address ([email protected]) or at my cell, 250-250-3838.
Keep in touch and all my best wishes to you.
Wada Wada
最后，你的special thanks to xxx team 那段，不要放在这个给所有同事的电邮里，而是在这个电邮发出之后，再给那个部门的所有同事单独追发一个。
通宝推：铁手,
，人家发过来的是中文信（外国公司，但是设计师是中国人），我用中文写了回信。