五千年(敝帚自珍)

主题:【求助】写了一封离职告别信,高手们帮我把把关! -- DF41

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家园 【求助】写了一封离职告别信,高手们帮我把把关!

小弟英语比较烂,请高手们给看看,哪些地方比较冗长或者语法时态的什么有问题,帮我看一下吧,谢谢!

Dear all,

As some of you may already know, I am resigning my position here on Jan.06 and this week is my last week in XXX Company. I will starting a brand new role in another company which will afford me the opportunity for better personal growth and professional development. I am leaving with a mixture of excitement and regret, because I have greatly enjoyed working with all of you. You've been not just colleagues but my friends as well.

Indeed, over 3.5 years experience in XXX company has been deeply fulfilling. It has been a pleasure to fight with a

strong team. Together we’ve provided world class service to our valued customer, accomplished the great target one

after another, sharing a rewarding learning experience and we have much to be proud of.

Special thanks to PEK Management - person name,person name,person name,person name. You gave me numerous support,

guidance and encouragement that I’ve learned how a really good professional work and project management should be run.

I sincerely hope that our friendship will not end with my departure. I can be reached at any time via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]

Please accept my best wishes in the coming Chinese New Year!

I will miss you all my brother & sisters!

新春快乐!

Yours truly,

XXX

关键词(Tags): #告别信(大圆)#离职告别信(大圆)
家园 写得很好啊

只是一般辞职信很少写这么长的。我的辞职信一般就两段,第一段serve notice,第二段thank you,差不多。有什么感谢的话就约当事人喝茶面谈。帮你改一改时态。

Dear all,

As some of you may have already known, I have resigned my position here on Jan.06 and this is my last week in XXX Company.

I will starting (这里有两个选择,你要不就用will be assuming 或 am assuming。两者差不多,但是am assuming的语气比较确定。start 和 role搭配不当。) a brand new role in another company which will afford me better opportunity for professional and personal development.

I am leaving with a mixture of excitement and regret, because I have enjoyed working with all of you very much. You've not just been valued colleagues but dear friends as well.

Indeed, my stay in XXX company for the past 3.5 years has been deeply fulfilling. It has been a pleasure to work with (或者fight along,fight with有歧义) a

strong team. Together we’ve provided world-class services(要不要加s要视你的工作内容而定) to valued customers, accomplished one goal

after another(建议再简化为many goals), shared a rewarding learning experience; We have much to be proud of.

Special thanks to XXX Management - person name,person name,person name,person name for the numerous support, guidance and encouragement. I’ve learned through you how a professionally managed project should look like.

I trust that our friendship will continue (to grow) after my departure或I trust that we will continue to enjoy a cordial personal relationship after my departure。你自己斟酌一下。主要是friendship will continue不太正规。. You are welcomed to reach me at any time via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]

Please accept my best wishes in the coming Chinese New Year!

I will miss you all my brother & sisters!

新春快乐!

Yours truly,

关键词(Tags): #辞职信(大圆)
家园 有一点长

Dear all,

As some of you may already know, I have resigned from XXX company and this is my last week here. (I will starting a brand new role in another company which will afford me the opportunity for better personal growth and professional development.这句话没有必要,建议删除,一般换工作多是为了这个原因) I have greatly enjoyed working with all of you, you've been not only colleagues but my friends as well.

(下面这段话也可以删掉,如果要保留的话可以这么写)

Over the last three and half years I had the pleasure to work with a strong team. Together we have provided world class services to our customers, accomplished the one great goal after another, shared a rewarding learning experience and we have much to be proud of.

I want to give special thanks to PEK Management - person name,person name,person name,person name. You have given me consistent and valuable guidance, support and encouragement, you are true professionals in action.

I sincerely hope that our friendship will not end with my departure. In the future, I can be reached via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]

Best wishes for the Chinese New Year!

XXX

家园 改得好!花之
家园 写的不错,不过要改的不少。

这个帖子上次发错了,没改完就发了。现在没闲情仔细改了,大概说一下吧,

1 写的太长了,没有任何的必要。如果是中国公司我不知道,但是在老外的公司,这类的email很少有超过5,6行的,老实说写的长了别人不会觉得有礼貌,会觉得奇怪你为什么要告诉他们这些事情。

2 语法错误和习惯用语错误也不少,要注意一下,不过如果是在国内发给英语是第二语言的人为主的,那也没什么。反正大家谁也不比谁高明多少。

3,这类东西一是简短,二要注意too much information,在英语环境中这个不是好习惯,会让人反感的。如果真的有好朋友要联系,不是写这类的email了,那需要单独的联络。

家园 cool

will afford me the opportunity for better personal growth and professional development

not good

家园 多谢各位!再帮我看看

各位改的都挺牛的,但是有些地方还是觉得有点别扭,我又综合你们的改了下,删了点东西,再帮我看看吧!

Dear all,

As some of you may already known, I have resigned from XXX on Jan.06 and this is my last week here. I am leaving with a mixture of excitement and regret, because I have enjoyed working with all of you very much. You've not just been colleagues but dear friends as well.

Indeed, it has been a pleasure to work with a strong team in the past 3.5 years. Together we’ve provided world-class service to our customers, achieved many challenging goals, shared a rewarding learning experience and we have much to be proud of.

Special thanks to PEKRC Management(这块的衔接还有没有好的方式?)who gave me numerous support, guidance and encouragement. I’ve learned from you how a professionally managed project should look like.

I sincerely hope that our friendship will not end with my departure. In the future, I still can be reached via mp#1381025xxxx or email: [email protected]

Best wishes for the coming Chinese New Year! I will miss you all my brother & sisters!

Yours truly,

XXX

家园 兄弟这个不是辞职信啊,而是告别信。而且也过长、过细了

俺没细看,但估计你是准备作为email弄群发的

无论是辞职信(resignation letter, 给supervisor or senior management的),还是告别信(farewell letter, 给coworkers的),都绝对绝对不宜写的这么长。前者是官面文章,自然没必要写得过长过细,而后者的受众(audience)很广,跨越各部门、不同级别/阶层、包括与你私交较深的和泛泛之交的,弄的过长了,会让所有人--无论是私交深厚的还是一面之交的,都感到别扭。

而且切切不要elaborate on your new position or career. 诸如神马 "...another company which will afford me the opportunity for better personal growth and professional development"。这个话是大忌,会让人觉得你有炫耀甚至觉得自己攀了高枝儿之意,虽然你本来完全不是这个意思。

还有些小语法瑕疵,比如 you may already known

应该是you may have already known,或者you may already know. 后者更简捷。这种东西,simplicity is the King.

其他语法瑕疵就不一一说明了。

我见过的所有老美的辞职信都很简捷,如果想加入一些个人情感因素,可以这样写:

Dear All,

It is with mixed emotions that I'm writing this email message. As some of you know, I have accepted a position at another company,and January 25 will be my last day with XXX. It was not an easy decision for me, as I truly enjoy working with all of you here at [Current Company].

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all, my friends and colleagues, for your support and friendship. It's been such a pleasure and privilege to work with each of you! I will miss you all... (俺觉得俺已经写的够酸够酸的了,如果你嫌酸的话可以适当tone down一下,但却不可比这个更酸了)

I can be reached at my personal email address ([email protected]) or at my cell, 250-250-3838.

Keep in touch and all my best wishes to you.

Wada Wada

最后,你的special thanks to xxx team 那段,不要放在这个给所有同事的电邮里,而是在这个电邮发出之后,再给那个部门的所有同事单独追发一个。

通宝推:铁手,
家园 [email protected] ......

谦,太谦了...

范文水平。

就3段,太精辟了。

家园 【请教】对这样一封告别信如何得体回复?

上个月我收到了一封类似的邮件。合作公司的一个设计师要辞职,发了一封类似的告别信给我。

幸好,人家发过来的是中文信(外国公司,但是设计师是中国人),我用中文写了回信。

我跟对方公司工作联系是中文为主,但是也经常直接用英文的。当时就想,如果用英文,怎么回复比较得体?

请酒兄赐教!

家园 赐教实不敢当

大家交流而已。俺觉得先要调整好心态:在商业社会环境里,人情有时候是种奢侈,有时候甚至是个缺点。

有了这个心态,在处理这类告别电邮时,就应尽量简捷,大面儿上过的去就好,太多的人情话儿实在没必要;关系真到那个份儿上了,肯定会一起去吃散伙饭的,或者至少会见面多聊两句,你的惜别之情,在面对面聊天儿时的语言和眼神中就会有自然流露,对方会感觉到,你自己的情感也得到了宣泄。所以无须在回电邮如何措辞上太费周章。

在霉果,对这类群发告别电邮,分两种:一种是最后一天发出的,那就别回了,因为对方很可能发出后就要走人了;再一种是提前一两周发的,而且附有其私人联系信息,那就回一个简短的:

Hi Soen,

Been a great pleasure working with you. Here's my personal contact info:

email:

cell:

结尾处视你俩关系深浅,可以选用不同色彩的称谓和语气,比如很亲密的,就说 I know I'll miss you... Stay in touch, and all the very best wishes to you, my friend. 也就可以了。

太煽情,自己累,对方瞧着也累

家园 抱歉

del

家园 高手很多啊

我这个Farewell Letter 仅限于发给我们部门内部,不会发给整个公司,我也感觉自己写的太冗长了,

another company那段我也拿掉了,觉得确实没什么必要。

另外 ,PEK Management那个就是我们部门的几个领导,应该没事。。

家园 贡献下我几个月前的

Dear Friends:

What has a start has an end. Today is my last day in xxxxxx. In the past 2 years I have experienced a lot of changes in both my life and my work, such as getting married and switching my career from engineering to marketing. There were so many challenges I need to face and so many new things I need to learn, but I’m lucky to have all of you by my side, offering me your kind helps and sharing me your valuable experience. Here I want to say thanks to all of you!

Hope our paths will cross again somewhere and sometime in the future! Keep in contact!

PS: My contact

xxxxxxx

Take Care!

家园 这种告别信

最重要的是。。。

交换个人的联络信息,特别是将来还有合作价值的。其它的什么都是浮云了。

电邮一般上就是Keep in touch, good luck, all the best,之类的场面话。交情好的自然有聚餐什么的。

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